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Both of them suggested that my long, graying hair would be a turnoff to men viewing my profile. As we age, where is the balance between being comfortable in our own skin and wanting to appear attractive?

The four people selected wouldn’t necessarily claim to be the wealthiest, most stunning or successful singles, but, out of 400,000 annual citywide users on the site, they were among the top five in their respective categories and, perhaps less scientifically, were the four who were also willing to be interviewed for a story. “I don’t get intimidated easily,” her profile warns. She likes “hockey, whiskey, swimming in an open ocean, down comforters, astronomy.” Her photos are striking: a wide-eyed close-up, overlit like an album cover; a low-res ­camera-phone shot that flaunts a short skirt and the gypsy tattoo that curls around her thigh.Aya: I've been married for three years, and we've been together 10. I never wanted to get married, I never believed in marriage. It's a commitment to do everything in your power to stay together until it's completely untenable.We may go through things where we may hate each other for months at a time, and you get through that, work on it, go to therapy, do whatever you need to do to fix it until it can't be fixed. You should have deep passion for someone when you first get together, but that passion turns into something else eventually.Then the following week, two men contacted me through the dating site, both complimenting me on my “sexy” long hair. But if I add much more, I’ll feel so self-conscious, it could negate any wow factor the makeup might have conjured.

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