Do I keep dating her and see if I become interested in marriage?Or do I say to myself that I’ll probably never want to marry her if I don’t right now – and break up with her? – Joe S., age 39 Dear Joe: Let’s zero in on the key things for you to reflect on and consider. Other times you really like someone and it doesn’t work out, and you’ve probably wondered if there was anything you could’ve done differently. Most of us have experienced a serious relationship by accident, usually when we really like the person we’re dating and it just naturally develops into something more.It’s true that being overly available can seem desperate or unattractive, but the last thing you want to do is play dating games.If you’re suffering from no-life syndrome, step back and ask yourself why you aren’t having fun on your own. Play the sport you like or pursue one of your interests. Insecure people push for serious relationships for the security it brings, and people can sense that.He’ll feel pressured, and you’ll miss out on the amazing feeling that comes from a man naturally wanting to secure things with you.Even though you may want a man to “just know” early on that you’re the only one for him, things usually don’t work this way with most men.
My girlfriend, who also is divorced, isn’t pushing me but has made it clear she hopes we’ll marry someday.It’s only in your emotional “stretch zone” that you grow. So your moral obligation when you realize you are doing that is to end it. As a man, your obligation with a woman is to make sure that you can enhance her life by giving her the emotional security of devotion.And if you’re not growing in a relationship, you’re moving backwards. By the way, it makes no difference how devoted you are if you are dating someone who is severely troubled – alcohol, drugs, infidelity, emotional problems. Okay, let’s say that you’ve thought through the first question and you’ve decided that she’s all RIGHT for you, and you really love her deeply, and she’s a good person, someone you can count on to be there for you as well.If you’re struggling with this, here’s a short list to help you go from a casual date to a serious mate (so lame, I know).1) Be Independent Some “experts” say you should act unavailable.Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate. But when I flirted back he said I need to chill on the exuberance..... He just wants someone to do stuff with when HE feels like it and sex. No I think it's just the sex he is wanting, but it could be that he really just wants to be friends and then see's what happens..basically not trying to jump into something to fast????????????? If he is just getting out there again, it very well may be true that he doesn't know. But if it is and he literally gets what he's asking for, he may find out that no strings is NOT what he wants, but again, not likely. you end up wanting him note guys Let's examine shall we? If he is only out for sex, you can figure that probably out from other interactions, not from the statement alone.